I love you more than you’ll ever
know Beth, but I really don’t deserve
you. I really don’t, and that’s the
brutally honest truth too.
She’s why I can dredge up these
awful memories for you, Doc. We’ve got
to figure out what’s wrong with me,
before history repeats itself.
I know it’s been fifteen years,
but remember, I was twenty-one when
that one happened, and that either
means I’m long overdue, or it’s just
down the road a piece.
Even if I wanted to forget, the
Darkness is always there to remind me
anyway, but at least now, it’s not as
bad.
I still get fits of depression,
but before I met Beth, if I tried to
save an animal, and they died, or even
* if I didn’t try at all, the Darkness
would fall on me like a ton of fucking
bricks, and that video would start
playing again.
I knew that, eventually, the hit-
ting would start. At least now, I know
that once I knocked myself out, the
video would stop, but I didn’t know
that in the beginning.
It seems like a really crazy,
off-the-wall, thing to know about my-
self. In order to get my brain working
again, I had to do a hard reboot by
knocking myself out.
I’ve already done it more than a
couple dozen times, 102 to be exact,
and the next one could be the one that
turns my brain to mush.
CHAPTER 1: WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 15th
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