At that point, I could understand 
why someone would want to kill them-   
selves. It’s the only way to get that  
shit out of your head.                 
     Some people, that I’ve talked to  
about all this, have told me outright, 
that’s what I should’ve done. Good     
riddance to bad trash, they told me.   
The world would be a way better place  
with one less piece of shit, like me,  
around.                                
     One of them even tried to help me 
along by dropping a fifty-pound rock on
my head.                               
     Maybe they’re right, but at the   
time, when I thought suicide was the   
only solution, that’s when the Darkness
lightened up a little. It wasn’t a lot,
and lasted for only a few seconds, but 
it was enough.                         
*      It felt like I was coming out of a  
dark, underwater cave, and that’s when 
an even better solution came to me, and
the Darkness lightened up even more.   
     I never felt so much relief in all
my life, and that’s when I did scream. 
I was so happy, because that video had 
also stopped playing, but I couldn’t   
forget Scratches. This was something I 
had to do for her. Not for me, but for 
her. It was the better solution.       
     To hell with the people who       
thought I should’ve killed myself, com-
mitted suicide, ended  it, and maybe   
death is just a reset button. Who knows
for sure except dead people, and sure  
my death might’ve made the world a     
little better place. I’ll give ‘em     
that, but that’s all I’ll give ‘em.    



CHAPTER 1: WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 15th
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