“Yup,” I kept my face as straight 
as I could. “Did you know that they’re 
paying me a dollar a signature to get  
this thing on the ballot and up for a  
vote in November.”                     
     “Cows?”                           
     “Yup. They deserve a little pay-  
back, don’t you think? Cows aren’t just
for the griddle anymore. They’re fight-
in’ mad, and they’re fightin’ back.    
There just ain’t too many things that  
are scarier than a mad cow, don’t you  
think?”                                
     He nodded his head, and his eyes  
had a kind of glazed look to them. I   
lowered my voice, almost to a whisper, 
and he leaned in closer.               
     “And if that’s not enough to blow 
your mind, how about this? The cows,   
that I’m trying to save from the       
* slaughterhouse, are also paying me with  
dead cows from that same slaughter     
house. They call it a bonus, but I’ve  
got so much steak, I don’t even know   
where to put it anymore. Now, how sick 
is that? I can’t even begin to fathom  
the sickness of that,” I said, although
I could, a little, but I didn’t say    
that last part out loud.               
     “Now, I know you’re joking.”      
     “Of course, I’m joking. I’ve got  
more than enough room for more steak,” 
I said, as I straightened up and       
started talking in a normal voice      
again, “but seriously, did you know,   
that if someone is cruel to animals and
even goes so far as to kill one, all   
the law allows, as punishment, is a    
thousand-dollar fine and no jail time  
whatsoever?!”                          



CHAPTER 1: WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 15th
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