She hugged me tighter, and then   
wiped my tears away.                   
     “How could I ever leave my Little 
Criminal? I love you more than I do    
Daddy, but don’t tell him that, ok?”   
she said, and then held her pinkie out.
     As I wrapped my pinkie around     
hers, I had to laugh, because Daddy was
standing right there laughing right    
along with us.                         
     We shook pinkies and said togeth- 
er, “Never, ever, forever, I promise.” 
     Then,  thirteen years later,      
forever came.                          
     It all started while I was at     
home, having another of my awesome fan-
tasy festivals. After our talk, I stop-
ped fantasizing about my parents, but  
not about anything else. It was just   
way too much fun.                      
*      I’d be watching TV, reading a       
book, driving by a billboard, or any-  
thing really, and something would set  
me off. Sometimes it’d be just a name, 
description, or a single word, and be- 
fore I knew it, I’d be charbroiling    
people in my head.                     
     Not to eat, but just to watch     
cook, really long and slow, and always 
with a twist. Instead of from the out- 
side, I’d charbroil them from the in-  
side, while opera blared loud enough to
make their ears bleed, and then pop.   
     Sometimes, they’d just kick start 
themselves up, and I almost always went
along for the ride.                    
     That day, I was in the middle of  
charbroiling people, when my Mom and   
Dad stopped by to see if I wanted some 
chicken, and no, this isn’t gonna turn 
into a story about me cooking my       
parents.                               



CHAPTER 1: WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 15th
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