that, “Today, I,” was kind of ok, but  
then all I did after that was ramble on
and on about stupid shit.              
     Kinda like what I’m doing right   
now, but after five years of looking   
for the perfect first paragraph, I got 
this dictating program, and the way    
this one started is better than per-   
fect.                                  
     Beth was perfect. She loves taking
the opposite side of most of my argu-  
ments, and she’s good at it too.       
     I’m not even gonna change the way 
it looks either.                       
     Ok, enough about that.            
     The bottom line, the brutally hon-
est truth, is that I’m not a good per- 
son, and you’ll understand why in a few
minutes, if you get that far.          
     You already know most of this     
* Beth, but Dr. Zinger doesn’t know about  
Scratches, and it’s about time you did.
     I’m not gonna make excuses or     
blame this on anyone else. I did       
something so fucking horrible, that... 
shit, I wouldn’t blame you, if after   
reading about it, you did decide to    
drop me as a patient.                  
    My only defense is that I thought  
I was hovering a few inches over       
everything and watching myself do my   
evil act.                              
     You already know that I’ve got an 
almost unbelievably vivid imagination, 
and I loved watching my fantasies when 
I was a kid, but this time, all the    
rules totally disappeared.             
     I was in freefall and didn’t know 
it.                                    
     It all started when I saw a car   
crash on TV, and because that had also 
happened to my parents, I went into    
such a rage that my fantasy world took 
over completely, and I watched myself  



CHAPTER 1: WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 15th
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